An Anti-Bullying, Finding our Humanity & Decency Movement
New Day
So what if we could control the weather? Make every day a sunny day? Would that be a positive in our life?
Actually, it would not be good for us at all. When there are too many sunny days, and no rain, the earth drys up. Soil becomes hard. Water stops flowing through rivers and life cannot sustain itself. We may prefer sunny days, but we need the rainy days. Without the rainy days, we could not enjoy the sunny days. In fact, the rainy days just make the sunny days even brighter.
We may want to make every day a sunny day, but it is not really what we need.
We can not control the weather outside but we can control the way we feel about it.
Equally, we can not control many things that happen to us, but we can control how we see and feel about those things also.
The rainy days in your life are making you stronger, wiser, more empathetic, They also serve a purpose.
Game Plan.
Start by being aware of which situations are likely to trigger your urge to cut. Make a commitment that this time you will not follow the urge, but will do something else instead.
Then make a plan for what you will do instead of cutting when you feel this urge.
Below are some tips you can try when you feel the urge to cut. Certain techniques will work better for some people than others.
Like all urges, the urge to cut will pass if you wait it out. Distracting yourself with something else helps time go by and gets your mind off the urge to cut. The more you wait out the urge without giving in, the more your urges will decrease over time.
Here are some things you can try while waiting for a cutting urge to pass:
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call a friend and talk about something completely different
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go for a walk or run, take a bike ride, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
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play with a pet
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watch TV (change the channel if the show gets upsetting or features cutting)
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drink a glass of water
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Read or watch something that inspires you on the internet. A great story about overcoming perhaps.
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Is there something that interests you to learn? Learn all you can. Study about it.
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Any hobbies? Work on it or find a new hobby.
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Volunteer. Many people need good people out there. And you will make new friends.
Sometimes people cut because they're agitated or angry — even though they may not recognize that feeling. If that's true for you, it can help to do something calming when you feel the need to cut.
The urge to cut does not just go away. It has to be replaced. So change your mindset. Find the positives in your life to work on. Create the positives. Volunteer, exercise, hobby, friend, learn something new. These will all work to make your life better.
When we are young it can be hard to see past the moment. Especially when the emotions seem so overwhelming. Even painful. This is why you must remember that you cannot control your circumstances but you can work on controlling your feelings. Own your feelings, See things in a new way.
The Chinese Bamboo Tree spends the first four years of life underground. Literally, you can not see any growth. But in the fifth year, it finds its way into the sunlight and the growth is spectacular. The tree can grow 80 feet in less than two months!
Can you imagine being the Chinese Bamboo Tree? Having dirt on you for four years and not one day of sunlight? But without those four years, the tree could not grow its' roots. It could not become the strong tree it was becoming.
We may not want the rain, or the dirt, or the lonely cold, but these things make us stronger. They can teach us if we let them. Make us better, wiser, more compassionate toward others. And they do not last forever. See past the moment. Or maybe you even have to see past the years. But know that it will not last forever.
Sometimes teenagers turn to cutting as a way of coping. Some may not understand your pain and tell you to just stop. Or just get over it. It is not that easy, is it? The emotional pain you feel that causes the cutting is real even if others do not understand. But cutting is not a solution. It temporarily helps some people feel better in the moment, but even worse later. There are healthier ways of dealing with pain and strong emotions. You can not always change your circumstances.You can only change how you feel about them.. You can only change how you respond to the negative things in life. We all need to learn to be strong and resilient in life because there will always be reasons to be hurt and be sad. But there will also always be beauty around us if we look. If we change the way we see things.
Sometimes one of the greatest lessons in life is just learning to be happy in our circumstances. Change what we can and be at peace with what we can not change.
Still, you say, the urge to cut is so strong sometimes. Yes, that is true. It si a way of transferring your emotional pain into something physical. You can overcome it and you will become stronger in the process
Don't feel bad to talk to a therapist if you need to. Many of the most successful and happy people in life have therapists. They are smart enough to do so. We all need someone at times.
Unkle Adams, once again, using his talents to create music that is meaningful.
