For Middle School Students

Are you being bullied? Or do you have a friend who is being bullied?

We want to help.

The first thing we want to say is we are sorry that you are dealing with a bully or bullies. It is hard. We know, because we have been there. It can be scary in some circumstances. At the least, we feel sad. Maybe betrayed. Or angry at how others can behave so uncaring and cold. Many people, like me, have felt sad and alone because of being bullied sometime in their life. That is why I created this site. My name is Dean Gregg and I was bullied too. I also saw some friends being bullied. It is not right. But we have all learned that things do get better. Take it from those who have been there. This moment will pass. There are beautiful days ahead.

Sometimes bullies do not know how bad their actions are. You probably do. You probably would not hurt another person on purpose. You care about other people. You have empathy and understanding for what other people feel. This is a sign of intelligence. In fact, we believe empathy is one of the signs of a truly developed consciousness. A higher intelligence level because it requires that you see outside yourself.

Some kids need more time to develop empathy. They need to learn to care for other people. Some children have not developed this kind of intelligence as young as you.

Uncle Adams blends a great sound with meaningful messages,

creating music that is catchy, young, and inspires us to be better.

"When you see a fellow classmate

treated in a bad way

stand up for him

and support him like a back brace.

No sad face..."

Being aware of others is a wonderful thing. It is much more important than how fast you run. It is more important than how nice your hair is. It is more important than being strong or being pretty. It is more important than how fast you learn math. Or english. The world is a better place because of the people who care. Like you.

If a child calls you names, try not to feel bad. You are beautiful. They have not learned to be as beautiful yet.

So what can you do if you are being bullied?

Use your voice: Speak up!

Speak up to the bully.

Do not get mad and say something mean like the bully does. If you do, the bully may blame you.

Be straight up. Tell the person that is acting like a bully that their words/actions make you feel bad. Ask them to please stop with a brave voice. If they do it again, repeat what you told them. Tell them again that their words make you feel bad. Ask them to please stop again with the same brave voice.

After you tell the bully to please stop, if he or she continues, walk away. Do not stay and keep talking. Just leave. If the bully continues just ignore him or her. Do not show interest. Do not act upset or sad. If you tell them to stop, and then ignore them, many bullies will get bored and quit bothering you. If leaving is not an option, or you feel it is not the best option, a phone can be a good tool. If you have a phone, use it to send a text message, or make a phone call. In other words, by using the phone you are showing that you are no longer paying attention and are no longer interested in what they are saying. But you must not argue with them. Do not yell or be emotional. Just say to stop and that is all.

If you do this some children will stop and leave you alone. Some will continue.

If the bullying continues you may choose to record the bully in action. Many smart phones will allow you to download an App for recording purposes. Talk to your parents and find out what your state laws and school policies are regarding public recordings. If you do so, be sure to be protected by the law and be discreet.

Speak up to someone with authority.

If a bully will not leave you alone, then you must speak up to an adult. Tell your mom and dad if you can. Tell your school counselor, or whatever staff you trust on campus, that you are being bullied and ask for help.

When you tell an adult , you must tell everything that is happening so they understand. You may feel shy. You may feel embarrassed. But you must say everything that the bully is doing so the adults will understand and help you. You can do it! Be brave. Speak up!!

Write it down.

Write down what the bully is saying and doing to you. Sometimes it is hard to talk and explain things. It can be easier if you write it down. Include all the details. Where did it happen? What time? Give a copy to the appropriate counselor or administrator who is helping you. Keep the original copy for yourself. Have your parents or guardian help you with letter if possible.

Some bullies, we realize, are not satisfied with intimidation, humiliation, or simple insults. At times, bullying involves actual physical attacks. When you are touched aggressively against your will, this usually constitutes an assault and battery. The law does not allow for this. If you are assaulted leave the situation quickly if possible. Again, immediately contact your parents or guardian. File a report with the school that you were assaulted and attacked by a fellow student. It is not enough to simply make the school aware. Be sure that you are given the appropriate forms so that the incident is in writing. Most schools will have a Bullying Incident Report Form. Ask for a copy for yourself.

This form should allow you to provide the following information:

Date(s) and time(s) of bullying incident(s)

Names of those who were bullied

Names of those who were doing the bullying

Names of any witnesses

Description of incident(s)

Follow up.

Let the school know that you would like a follow up meeting and set this up when you make your first report. Get an exact date and time you can meet again. Communicate that you want to ensure that the bullying stops and want to check beck to see if the school has taken measures to protect you. You will also let them know if their measures have been effective and the behavior no longer is occurring. Set up as many follow up meetings as necessary if the bullying continues. Keep a thorough record of all conversations, participants, and follow up plans.

TIES also may help. We have volunteers throughout the United States that can assist you and your parents as a third party. We will also keep a record of the bullying incident, the action plan communicated by the school, and provide follow-up to help ensure that the bullying has stopped. Contact us if we can assist.

The law protects all people equally, even our youth. Adults do not allow themselves to be abused and neither should you.

We want you to know that there are various laws that protect you from bullying behaviors. These laws will differ in definition and scope from state to state and from country to country. Check in your country or state to see how you are protected.

Here are a few: of the laws against bullying that you should be aware of. Click on the following links for definitions.

You are protected by our laws. If you choose to protect yourself using the laws designed to protect you, it is your right.

Use the buddy system.

If a bully will not leave you alone then try to stay with a friend as much as possible. Do not be alone where no one else is around, like the bathroom, hallway, bus or outside.

If you see someone else being bullied, you should also remember: Speak up!

Tell the bully to please stop. If the bully continues tell an adult.

Remember: They are wrong. Do not even pay attention to bullies. You are unique and awesome!

It is not your fault. You are strong. You are beautiful.

Always remember!!

Victoria Vida. So much talent so young.

"You're no less than perfect, believe that you're worth it, because you're bigger than you think."

Middle School can be a very stressful time for many students. We know this. You may feel pressure from family, or school, or friends, or other students, or maybe all of them. If you are also being bullied, well, it is a lot. We know because we have also been through it also. It is hard but you can do it. It is very important to keep your values. Make good decisions. Sometimes when we feel sad we hurt ourselves more than anyone else does. How do we do this? We tell ourselves lies. We tell ourselves we are not good enough. We say we are not pretty enough. Or we are not smart enough. Or popular enough. Or many other things.

When bullies feel bad, they hurt other people. But if you are a caring person, you do not hurt other people. Problem is, sometimes caring people hurt themselves.

If you would not tell other people mean things to hurt them, do not do it to yourself either.

Grace is amazing and has captivated the world ever since her first appearance on America's Got Talent 2016.

"Try to change my shape

But baby I'm not clay

Sorry not today...."

The truth is you are amazing. You are a story that is unique and beautiful and irreplaceable.

It does not matter that you are popular or not. This is really very silly and unimportant. Many wonderful people were never popular in school. It does not matter. It may seem important now but you will see later how unimportant it is.

The important thing is to be you! Be true to yourself. Be the best person you can be. Help make this world a better place. You must believe in yourself and like yourself. So start by being kind to yourself.

Sophia has taken the internet by storm. Can't help but love her.

"I know who I am

and I can never be replaced.

So go ahead, be proud, be different

Hey! that's what makes you one out

of a million..."

You are not the strongest? So what!

You are not the prettiest? So what!

You are short? So what!

You are too tall? So what!

You are autistic? So what!

You are not the smartest? So what!

You are overweight? So what!

I guess you are as imperfect as all the rest of us. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has hidden weaknesses and flaws. Everyone! This is why the world needs kind and caring people.

Thank you to the following artists who donated their time and talent for this cause:

Simple Plan, Hedley, Lights, Fefe Dobson, Kardinal Offishall, Alyssa Reid, Walk Off The Earth.

Download the song on iTunes - All proceeds to Kids Help Phone.

And thank you to The Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf (ORAD).

Here is a great truth we all learn as we get older. Being different and being original is absolutely a great thing. Fitting in is not so important. Being YOU! is very important!!

If you care about values, and care about people, then you are what this world needs. Be kind to yourself also.

Some children may bully you, or make you feel bad. It is because of who they are at the moment. It is not you. But this will all change. You will see. It always does.

William Penn Middle School "You'll See"

Outstanding school and students put this together. Beautiful.

"...Don't worry bout the things they say
You'll grow up and they'll go away
The world has a way of coming back around
and teaching all of those that put you down."

Make new friends.

This can be hard, especially if you are shy or have social anxiety. You may think that you are already being bullied, and now we are saying to make friends? You do not want to set yourself up for more bullying. So how do you do this? A great way to make new friends is through school clubs or athletics. What do you enjoy? Ask your school if there are clubs that support your interest. It really helps to find others who care about the same things you do. You will share a connection from the beginning. We all need friends. Maybe you have some good ones. Still, make some new ones. It helps.

Hard time deciding on a club? Well, if you are reading this, one thing you probably care about is decency and caring for others. Does your school have an anti-bullying club? Or a club to create a better school community? Find out. Ask your teachers, counselor, or administrators. If not, ask to start one. The school should support you. These make the school even better. There are some good ones across out there. A little research and you will find them on the internet.

At TIES, we support Living Intelligently For our Tomorrows (LIFT) Clubs. If you would like to start a chapter at your school talk to your teachers or counselor and let us know. We will help you! For more information about LIFT, click here.

We are sorry that you are being bullied. It is hard. You may feel sad. This is normal. Many people have had to deal with a bully. Even famous people. Here are a few. Click here for bullied celebrities.

You are strong. You are beautiful. It will not last forever.

If we can help you further, contact us.

We are here to help.

Do you self-harm (cut)? If this is an issue in your life, please click here. We would like to talk some more. It is time to stop.

Stand up for Others!

Have you ever seen someone at school being bullied? You probably have.

I remember when I was in elementary school. There was a boy who went to school with me. He was overweight and other kids would call him names. They were mean names like "fat", and "fag", and others. Sometimes they would hit him. I would see this happening every few weeks. It made me sad. I wish I had tried to help this boy. I should have told the other kids to stop. But I did not. Now I know what I should have done. It has been more than 40 years and I still remember.

We fell in love with this song the first time we heard it.

"If I could go back do it again

I'd be someone you could call friend

Please, please believe that I'm sorry."

You know what you should do if you see someone being bullied. Yes! If you feel safe, you should tell them to stop! If you feel safe, be that person you know you really are. Stand up for what is right. Stand up for those who may not be able to stand up for themselves. Finding this strength inside you will give you a feeling of freedom. You will know you own yourself.

So young and so talented. Great message.

"...I'll be your friend
What do they know?

It's all so pretend

They can go away
...Take them all away and we are the

same."

One of my proudest moments came when my daughter was in school.

It started out with a phone call from my daughter saying she had been suspended from school. I asked what happened and she said she had been suspended for being in a fight. Nothing of the sort had ever occurred and I asked for details. She said she had not been in a fight. Rather, she had tried to stop an assault on another student. She told me she simply tried to stop a bigger student from attacking a smaller one who was sitting passively. I told her to give me everything. I would be calling the school and I did not want to find out that I had only heard half the story. As she cried she promised that I knew everything and she did not understand why she was being suspended. Long story short, a video was uploaded to YouTube that showed my daughter standing in the way of the bully who was standing over and threatening another student. In the video, a crowd of students gathers around and they are egging the bully on, telling him to punch the student who is sitting on the ground. My daughter stands in his way and the crowd tells my daughter to move. They ask her why she is standing there. She stands her ground for over 5 minutes refusing to move, despite the pressure from everyone else. Finally, the bully starts to punch down at the student , actually partially hitting my daughter in the process. A friend then pulls my daughter away to safety.

She never made any aggressive moves. She simply said she would not allow the assault on the other boy. Her courage meant a lot to me. Always will.

To the school's credit, they also saw the video, removed the suspension, and apologized to my daughter.

It Only Takes One.

Thank you to Izzybe.com and Lkeurlife.com. You can do this.

We need more strong students to take a stand. But if it is not safe for any reason, tell an adult.

Other children may call you a "snitch" or other names if you let an adult know.

With a brave voice, just say it is not okay to hurt other people. Look them in the eye and ask them if they like to hurt other people.

If you are brave and strong, most other kids will stop because they know they are wrong.

Talk to your friends. Tell them to support you and be strong with you. It is easier when friends support each other. Remember, never be a bully, even to the bullies. Just be brave! One brave person can change everything.

Last, reach out to the kids who are alone. The ones who have been ostracized. The ones who need it most. You do not need to be best friends. You simply need to be a decent human being. A kind word. A smile. Not too hard to show humanity and caring.

If you want to make lasting change, support any anti-bullying or community betterment club your school may sponsor. If one does not exist at your school, work with your school to decide which is the best for you.

As we said above, if we can be of assistance, we are here and would love to help.